Leaving for Staging in 10 hours...

So it's 2:30am, the night before I fly to Philadelphia for Staging. I will get there a day early because none of the Monday flights from Tucson would have gotten me there on time for training. I've said goodbye to my 3 sisters, my dad, my stepmom, most of my good friends, T, and pretty soon my mom....generally my entire life as I've known it for the past however many years.

The significance of this, and some of the emotional impact is starting to become very real. Up until now it's been something I was going to do. Even saying goodbye to T and my Portland life was somehow manageable at the time. How many times had I left from Portland to Arizona only to return again a few weeks later. But no, this time I'm leaving for Philadelphia, and then in 3 days time for Conakry, Guinea, West Africa. This is very different.

I'm stressed out thinking about whether or not my bags will be slightly over the weight limit, causing me to need to reorganize stuff into my backpack at the ticket counter. Worrying about getting to the hotel in Philadelphia from the airport cheaply and effectively. Worrying about not having appropriate "business casual" clothing at Staging. The list goes on, and continues well into not being adequately prepared with the langauge or techincal training once I'm in Guinea. Or hell, maybe I won't get along with my host family for XYZ reason.

All this on top of the fact that next time I see my little sisters, they will be about a foot taller. My parents will move on with their lives, their careers, etc. My friends will be even more scattered around, and in completely different parts of their lives (well...except the grad students :-p). T as well, while I am very hopeful for the preservation of what we have, the realist in me worries about losing that once the distance and communication barriers start to get to us.

At the same time, holy crap, I'm going to be living in Africa in 4 days. This is the exciting, life-changing, thrilling adventure that I've been planning for over a year. I'm going to have my own classroom where hundreds of young Guinean students will learn physics or chemistry from me in French. I will live in completely different conditions, and eat completely different food than even I with my adventurous nature have experienced. This is freaking awesome.

I haven't even left my hometown and I can already begin to see why the Peace Corps says that you will experience your highest highs and your lowest lows while in service. But this is an emotional roller coaster that I am ready for, and I know that in the long-run, no matter how many times I get intestinal parasites and malaria - or how many kilometers I'll need to bike in the African heat to get to an internet connection or a working phone, I will be a stronger person for my experiences, and the relationships I form or maintain will also be strengthened.

Now if I could only finish packing to my satisfaction, maybe I can get some sleep before the flight.